There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.
I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele
the thing is though everytime a girl compliments me on a dress/skirt with pockets and I declare THANKS IT HAS POCKETS her response completely changes from “oh that’s nice” to “FUCK ME BACKWARDS ARE YOU FOR REAL SHOW ME SHOW ME THE POCKETS”